The two creatures but the same gender in the Homo sapiens are quite imperative in man endeavor. No man’s life is complete without these two separate-the-same gender. One makes existence for a man, the other reproduces existence for a man. Who to care of the most? And don’t forget, if both doesn’t care of very well by a man, as such may witness the wrath of Allah. This article will enlighten us on what to do as a man in conjunction with the words of Al Qur’an and Hadith.
Driven by her outpouring of maternal affection and extra care, the mother may think
that her daughter-in-law is trying to take excusive possession of her beloved son. On the other hand, wife may think that her mother-in-law is dearer to her husband’s heart than her, and here lies the problem.
However, if both the wife and the mother managed to understand the actual causes behind this problem, then it may be easily solved.
The solution, in fact, is Within reach. The husband should strike an equitable balance and manage to run the affairs on both tracks successfully. The mother should be
treated kindly, and the wife should be maintained honorably.
One solution is that the couple should have their own home, as the shared lodging may be a primary cause of bringing about disputes between his wife and her mother in-law. Umar used to advise the governors of the Muslim Ummah saying, ‘you would
better advise relatives to visit one another, but not to share the same Lodging.”
If the son managed to have his own home and run his own affairs independently, he should be kind towards his parents “… show kindness to your parents… say not unto them, pooh! and brow beat them not, and speak to them a respectful speech.” [17:23]. “the biggest sin is setting up equals with Allah and then disobedience to parents and neglect of duty to them..” [Bukhari]. Such kindness may be expressed in the form of frequent visits, offering presents, and sharing meals with them. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, ‘Exchange presents so that affection
might prevail among you.’ The husband should not, however, in the bid to please his parents, maltreat his wife. The Prophet said, The best of you is one who is best in his treatment of his wife, and I am the best of you in the treatment of my family.” [Tirmidhi].
In an attempt to avoid any future disputes, the husband should advise his wife to treat his mother kindly, even if his parents are dissatisfied with her. The husband should be a model in this respect.
If all efforts proved to be of no avail and the parents or one of them was not on friendly terms with the wife, then the son should be kind and loyal to his parents.
If the son manages to handle the situation and solve the difficult equation between both parties, Allah Almighty will reward him and bless his wife and offspring. Allah Almighty says: “But if they strive with thee to make thee ascribe unto Me as partner that of which thou hast no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the word kindly, and follow the path of him who repenteth unto Me. Then unto Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what ye used to do. (Q31:15).Allah, also says, ‘And
they who believe and whose seed follow them in faith, We cause their seed to join them (there), and We deprive them of naught of their (life’s) work. Every man is a pledge for that which he hath earned.'(Q52:21)”
The Prophet Muhammed (S.A.W) says “The Paradise lies at the feet of mothers. It is rewardable in the sight of Allah if one shows mercy, kindness, and does well to one’s mother. No matter the position you find yourselves, you must ensure that the
favour of Allah and that of your parents are with you, so try to lower your gaze and turn to prayers fervently for your parents, especially your mother.