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Aisha and Muhammad would often have races with each other, “I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I raced with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. He said: This is for that outstripping.”

The young inquisitive daughter of the prophet’s closest friend Abu Bakr Siddiq and umm Ruman became the third wife of rasul Allah (s.a.w.). She was born into Islam and betrothed to the prophet (s.a.w.) at puberty. She matured into a very intelligent orator with love for poetry.

She, the youngest, and the only virgin amongst the prophet’s wives; was doted by the prophet (s.a.w.) and devoted more time to nurture her because of her lack of marital experience, unlike the other wives. She was nicknamed, Humayra. The unique bond between them created amazing intimacy and love story that afforded her the privilege as the only wife to witness prophetic Revelations.

She was one of the three wives of the prophet that memorized the Qur’an, served as the link between women and the prophet on matters relating to women and marital issues. She accompanied   the prophet on journeys and alongside her husband on many expeditions caring for the wounded and providing water for the companions at  where necessary. Her matronly roles for were visibly noticed for instance at Hudaybiyah and the Day Makkah  was conquered.

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Notwithstanding Aisha’s, intimate relationship with Allah’s apostle she was wrongly accused of adultery. It took a revelation of a verse for her to be exonerated and total absorption from the heinous allegation. By extension the revealed verse also outline stipulations, punishments for adultery and slander in Islam, Surah Noor (24).

As  if to further attest to their closeness ;the prophet requested that, he  should stay in Aisha’s room during his illness, where he eventually, took his last breath, resting his head on her laps. The prophet death made her retreated from public activities as she mourned her husband for long. Abu Bakr Siddiq, her father, assumed the leadership of the Ummah .

Her inactivity continued into the regime of the second caliphate led by Umar bin Kattab. However, under the Caliph of Uthman bin Affan, the third caliph, Aisha evolved into a vocal political figure and staunch preacher of pristine Islam as she witnessed during the time of the prophet. But this, many interpreted to mean she was critical of the regimes of Uthman, Ali and Muawiyah. The latter, were the precursor of Shia, in today’s Islam. Her activism pushed her to the forefront on the battlefields as she became the rallying point for critics of the Ali and Muawiyah regimes. She lost two of such battles against Ali decisions she would regret for the rest of her life.

Ummahat Al-Mumineen, eventually retired from activism and became a scholar, counseling Muslimah on marital issues and even giving fatwa on some matters. She dedicated her 47 years as a widow to propagation and education. She was credited to have narrated more than 2,000 ahadith  from the many memorable intimate experiences she shared with the prophet.  In the process, she revealed in the process her Love life with the prophet, sharing their love notes on romance and breaking down the myth surrounding marital sex, sexuality and sensuality. She was a teacher and expert on couples’ hygiene, purification, roles, rights and expectations of couples in Islam.

May Allah continue to bless her and the household of the prophet.  Amin.

Parenting Cannot Be Delegated

Like any skill, we need to put in effort to develop the art of parenting with immense passion, tolerance and cheerfulness. An angry and short tempered father cannot train his child to be cheerful and tolerant. Even if he dictates these lessons, the subconscious mind of the child will reject them because he did not see those lessons in his own father.

Therefore, if parents want to establish good qualities like generosity, hospitality and helpful nature in children, we have to master and demonstrate the same in front of children in order to teach them. The results will be quicker and pleasing.

Teaching values to children is also an art as it involves thoughtful communication and convincing replies to issues that bother teenagers. The contemporary children are sagaciously aware of their spiritual and emotional requirements. Anything inadequate or lesser than their Emotional Quotient is not acceptable to them.

Had a math teacher not demonstrated the method of solving problems, the students would have surely found it difficult to solve. Similarly, good parenting cannot be graded by the qualities of dining tables and furniture in homes but by how we demonstrate good values as a form of teaching.

If we want to teach good manners, then we have to be a master in manners ourselves Good habits in a child cannot be cultivated by scolding them with frowning eyebrows. It has to be applied with motivation. If daddy of today wants his boss to encouraged and motivates him to be more productive; then he has to realize that he too, has to invest the same motivation back home on his family. wife and children needs motivation as well.  Children are like customers. They will respond to your offers and suggestions only if they have that trust in you and find your presentations appealing.

How we present a Sunnah is just as important as the Sunnah itself. If we have Sunnah to teach, then we should have certain method to teach them as well, which sadly, many parents ignore. There is a difference between knowing something and knowing how to do something. If we reflect upon our school memories, most of our favorite teachers were those who made learning easy and engrossing.

Today’s children are more demanding and intelligent. Even their emotional quotient has gone up along with a boom in information technology. While parents of today have been focusing only on providing academic education and luxury, the emotional needs of children are often neglected. Many parents are failing to identify their children’s problems. Many do not even realize that the child is asking for an emotional attention. Many parents are failing to read their children’s emotional language. Successful parenting is not about accomplishing big projects like arranging a whopping amount of fees for you children’s education or providing cars and branded commodities to them, but it is about succeeding in inculcating small traits like  good habits and self-management in our  children.

by Hajiya Toyeba Idris

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